Sandy Sullivan
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Claims to fame: 2006 Republican candidate for Wisconsin secretary of state; football groupie
Moral apex: We can’t decide between her shagging the Green Bay Packers, or bragging about her sexual exploits in her 2004 memoir, Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs.
Not, mind you, that we actually care who this big-haired, blonde, ex-cocktail waitress bedded — but we find it highly ironic that she received such a warm welcome (and even endorsements) from Republican leaders all across the Cheese State.
It’s amazing how the party of “moral values” is so quick to dismiss sexual promiscuity in one of its own. Typical is this comment to CNN by Rick Wiley, executive director of the state Republican Party: “Everyone has a past out there.”
What we think: We think the “lady” doth protest too much when it comes to denying — and denying and denying — that her campaign is nothing more than a promotional gimmick for her book.
“Someone accused me once of using the political campaign to promote my book. Not hardly!” she writes (perhaps ignorant of the irony in the phrase “not hardly”) in her blog — and just a few sentences later, urges supporters to buy her book.
One clue: Her resumé lists her as the current owner of S.M.S. Corporation, which “Develops and implements ongoing sales/marketing promotions of self-published book, including statewide public speaking.”
Uh-huh.
Honestly, this woman cannot be for real. But we give her credit for being one hell of a marketeer!
Memorable quotes:
The football players of the 1950s and ’60s were every bit as “HOT” as the men of the present day, if not more so. Remember, the ’60s was the “dawning of the Age of Aquarius” and some women … were thrilled to experience this brave, new freedom, and celebrate our sexuality … and the football players loved it!. . .
[T]here are two things football players think about all the time … FOOTBALL AND SEX … and seldom in that order.
Life-long passion for, and friendship with, Vince Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers
So I’ve had a busy week, my friends! I guess it’s called 15 minutes of fame.
— Blog, October 16, 2006
Memorable observations:
If the book is to be believed, the Packers did a lot of their scoring off the field, and Sullivan got her share of playing time.
— Candidate touts sex with Packers in campaign
CNN, October 10, 2006
In football terms, one might say this is either a case of illegal procedure or too many men on the field.
— BuzzFlash, October 11, 2006
Suggested Bible reading for Ms. Sullivan’s Republican supporters (because Ms. Sullivan, while a sly self-promoter, can’t be accused of hypocrisy):
Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
— Matthew 15:7-8
