George W. Bush
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Claims to fame: Failed businessman; son of the 41st President of the United States; squatter, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Moral apex: Sorry, can’t list everything. Only so much disk space, you know. Besides, we can’t delve into any of Junior’s alleged sexual peccadilloes (like, oh, his alleged extramarital affair with one Tammy Phillips, which reportedly began in 1997 and ended in 1999) without worrying about a late-night knock at the door.
Besides, Bush’s verifiable crimes are so voluminous, allegations of a lousy extramarital affair (or three, or ten) mean nothing by comparison. Remember the mantra, babes: When Clinton lied, nobody died.
So let’s just leave it at this…
Memorable quote:
“Pussy.”
— At the Republican National Convention in 1988, when asked by a Hartford Courant reporter what he and his father talked about when they weren’t discussing politics (as reported by Salon).Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Bush:
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
— 2 Timothy 3:1-5
