Rev. Bob Gray
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Claims to fame: 80-year-old pastor of Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Trinity Baptist Church (Jacksonville, Florida) for 38 years; co-founder and president, Trinity Baptist College; gay-hater; molester of little girls
Moral apex: French-kissing six-year-olds.
“Basically it was a make out session,” one victim told First Coast News about “a french kissing ritual with her that lasted for three years,” beginning when she was about eight. “Sitting on his lap. Hugging. But he never put his hands where you would consider you shouldn’t put your hands.”
What’s worse: That victim was lucky; a number of Gray’s other accusers say he touched them down there.
What’s worse: It wasn’t just one, or two, or three kids… As of early June, 2006, some 17 women stepped forward to tell essentially the same story of childhood molestation by Gray.
What’s worse yet: The current pastor of Trinity Baptist, Tom Messer, tried to cover up at least two incidents:
One of the alleged victims sent First Coast News a letter that was signed by Messer with a hand-written note.First Coast News compared that signature with other legal documents signed by Messer.
The letter sent to the alleged victims indicates the church, in 1992 and 1997, dealt with the issue of Dr. Gray’s relationships with children and brought church discipline action and instituted accountability for him.
A First Coast News investigation has also found no records to indicate authorities were ever made aware of the abuse allegations.
What’s worse than anything: A father who covers up the abuse of his own child:
Denise Green’s father was a deacon at the church up until a few years ago.Denise says she told her father what happened shortly after she graduated in 1987.
“Daddy told me last night, and I didn’t know this, that he and Tom Messer and Dr. Gray sat down and daddy confronted him about it and he acknowledged, ‘Yes, it happened,’” said Green.
— ibid.
But then, it sounds as if everybody knew what was going on, and nobody did a damned thing about it:
“Some of the deacons knew, the pastor knew,” said John [a member of Trinity Baptist Church for more than 30 years]. “I’ve know it for years, but it was just kind of covered up, swept under the rug by everybody in charge,” he added.John remembers a Wednesday night service back in the late eighties. He says pastor at the time, stood in front the congregation and told hundreds of members about those allegations.
“Then, Brother Gray mentioned that he categorically denied all charges,” said John.
John says in the nearly 20 years since that announcement, he’s remained a close friend of one of the victims and he has tried to get some real answers.
“I had talked to the… pastor, right now. He said something to the effect that he knew there were some indiscretions, but he didn’t think it was good to bring them out, for the good of the ministry,” said John. “We’re talking about kids, here. It’s heinous — ooh, it’s pitiful,” he added.
Not everyone leaving the Trinity Baptist campus Sunday was surprised by Gray’s arrest.
“Well, I felt like it was coming,” Otto Miller said.
The woman who told Rubin she was victimized by Gray said she and other victims want the church to admit that it has known for years about the abuse. She said the church knew what happened in Gray’s office decades ago, years that the victims silently “suffered broken marriages and broken lives.”
According to sources and Web sites, Gray remains active in revivals and Bible conferences across America.
Sandy, who asked that the station not use her last name … said that when she was 12 years old Gray sexually abused her during a church camp, but she said she told the same story to church leaders in 2004.
Sandy said that back then she called the church because she did not think church leaders knew about the allegations against Gray, but she said, to her surprise, it was well known.
“He told me that in 1992 when (Gray) stepped down that he had confessed, repented and had gone up under disciplinary actions, basically, through the church,” Sandy said.
So, almost two years later, Sandy said she sent an e-mail to the church again addressing Gray, stating: “You may recall our conversation by remembering that I asked you to look at your children and ask yourself that if it happened to your children, would you have made the same decision?”
Sandy said her e-mail was not the only proof she had that the church knew about the allegations. She said she talked with many of the accusers.
I went to Trinity Christian Academy from K-5 until I graduated from high school in 1986. I went to Trinity Baptist Church until 1989. So I know of what I speak. My parents left TBC in 1992 when the church leaders would not properly handle this situation and instead covered up for Gray and insulted and lied about those who tried to get the truth out about Bob Gray. …
Tom Messer along with the Deaf Minister at the time Steve Houghton sat in my fathers living room and discussed Gray’s molestation of children. I was there that day and heard the words out of Pastor Messer’s mouth myself. He said that Gray had been horribly abused as child.
Messer said that the church would handle Gray through church discipline. They did not do this properly according to I Timothy 5:19-21. They brought him before the church and said that he had committed an indiscetion. This “discipline” ended in a standing ovation for Gray.
Over these past 14 years more and more victims and information have come to light. Gray has abused children for decades. Sometime in the 1970’s or early 1980’s he was sent to California for counseling for his problem by the church leaders. They lied to the members and said that it was for training so that he could better counsel members. Gray has molested not only kids at TCA but his own family members.
In early 2004 after my husband died I went to see a counselor. During one of my visits I told him of various abuses in my childhood. I told the counselor that I was molested as a 9 year old little girl in 1969 at a church summer camp by a very prominent pastor of one of the largest churches in town. I told him that I had never told anyone his name except my family but I was going to tell him. I said his name is Bob Gray the former pastor of Trinity Baptist Church. He got so angry that he threw his clipboard on the floor and said “If you only knew how many women have come through my office through the years and have told me the same thing”. Up until that time I thought that I was the only one that this had happened to. …
I told Pastor Messer … that I was molested at church camp in 1969 when I was 9 years old by Bob Gray. I couldn’t believe it when he told me that he knew of many others. …
He told me that in 1992 he (Tom Messer) and a board of 12 deacons had meetings with Bob Gray. He said that he confessed, was repentant and they felt that because his ministry was so large in saving souls that they made the decision allowing him to keep his credentials…
Shortly after telling my husband, we set up an appt. with Bob Gray to confront him on why he did those things to me as a child (I was around 8 years old). It was a terrifying experience to face him. He hung his head and asked for my forgiveness. I’ll never forget what he said to me. He said, “you knew I loved you, I just took it too far” and asked that we please not tell anyone for the sake of the ministry. After that meeting and after the shock wore off, we felt like we could move on at that point. I never wanted to tell my family — they were members as well and I did not want to cause them pain. I have very deep roots at Trinity and I have many family members that attend there.
Surprisingly — and refreshingly — some small good may have come of this whole sordid story. Some of the harshest voices on the Radical Right seem to have undergone an epiphany of sorts:
The typical independent, fundamental Baptist approach to a scandal like this is first to deny it. I understand that. I truly do. None of us wishes to believe that people we loved and admired and followed could be capable of such sinful acts, especially against children. Then when it is realized there may be merit and teeth to the charges we ignore it. I mean we’ll remove Bob Gray’s picture from our websites, remove his name from our missionary lists, reprint conference flyers that once featured his name as a guest speaker, and gather up all of his preaching tapes. Neither his name nor anything about him will ever be mentioned from the pulpit in any conference where he once spoke. It will almost be as if he never existed.Dr. Smith, there is a better way… a more biblical way. Let’s face it. I mean let’s address it.
— Marty Braemer
Letter to Sword of the Lord publisher
(and ultra-powerful Baptist) Shelton Smith
May 24, 2006
I don’t like to kick a man when he is down and I believe in loyalty to friends but when a man repeatedly commits horrendous sins and presents himself as a man of God (with all that implies) then I consider him my enemy when he proves that he was not what was represented.
His wife told the Times-Union, “I believe he’s an honest and honorable man, and I believe he tries to do what’s right.” While it is normal for a wife to react that way, she is wrong. He was not honest or honorable, and if fundamental Baptist pastors come to his defense while being critical of the massive Roman Catholic sex scandal it will be pure hypocrisy. …
Laymen must hold their pastors accountable, but that very seldom happens either because of intimidation by the pastor, or love for the pastor, or a desire “not to cause a disruption of the ministry.” Not hurting the church is the excuse leaders use for not dealing with a pastor’s sexual affairs. They often say, “Let God take care of it,” however, God has told the church to take care of it. Most Baptist churches are failing at this and other matters of church discipline.
The molested women told First Coast News (TV) that church officials knew about the abuse for years, but tried to “sweep it under the rug.” …
Trinity’s website says that the church “wants the truth to be ascertained and to become fully known.” That is admirable but was that their desire when the charges first surfaced? Were these charges the catalyst for Gray resigning the church and going to Germany? Why was Gray permitted to present himself to other churches raising financial support without informing supporting pastors? Why was he kept on various boards and permitted to be the headliner for various Baptist conferences? If pastors and conference moderators were aware of his past and continued to invite Gray to preach to other pastors then they are participants in Gray’s sins. Knowledgeable pastors who preached with Gray in various conferences are guilty of compromise.
Of course, many remain in denial (and probably always will):
SOMEONE OUT THERE STOP AND THINK AND GIVE DR. GRAY THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!!!! HE IS 80 AND HAS PARKINSONS DISEASE….WAS HE ACCUALLY AWARE OF EACH AND EVERY STATEMENT….
— Comment to Marty Braemer’s blog
May 24, 2006
People all over have made comments and ASSUMPTIONS on this matter and subject, to which they KNOW NOT THE FACTS nor the TRUTH. GOD CALLS IT GOSSIP! …
Remember, Satan will use anything to attack the cause of Christ and led people away (even christians to gossip.)
I’m saddened to read many of the comments made by people who take news as fact. From people who don’t know the man Bob Gray. I have known Bro. Gray and Silva for some years. I have had them here in Scotland and I have to say that in all my 35 years of being involved with IFB Bro. Gray is the most gracious, kind, loving preach I have ever met. …
What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty. I got saved at Trinity Baptist Church, I met my husband there and we had two of our daughters while attending there. We moved away and came back with another daughter and a son. Our children loved Dr. Gray. They went to camp and felt very comfortable around him. They love him now and they nor I have ever had any reason to suspect Bro. Gray as a molester. I do not believe these accusations. I will not believe them until I hear him admit it. I also heard that he never admitted to french kissing any of them. Why did these so called victims stay at the church and have their families there. Why would you submit yourself to that and your own children if it were true.
I know many people dont like someone on here actually giving a thought contrary to the many, but this is America and a person is innocent until proven guilty…unless your a democratic senator or such. … Remember Adam blamed God and Eve for his eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. …
Thats what is so strange. It seems everyone is on the side of these alleged victims. … I am sure if you put a detective on all these alleged victims personal lives they would not be lily white either. …
Messer and others … need to be investigated as well as alleged victims who kept the alleged molesting a secret therefore obstructing justice.
— “ChildofGod”
Fighting Fundamental Forums
June 12, 2006
Are you 100% sure that Bob Gray is a child molester?Was you there when it happened?Did you see it with your own two eyes?How we know these other people (the accusers) are not lying?It’s just hard for me to believe that if Bob Gray was guilty as charge of these accusations that God would continue to bless his ministry.The Bible says that whom God loveth,He chasteneth.I am having a hard time believing this man commited these crimes.
— “ForGodSoLoved”
Fighting Fundamental Forums
June 12, 2006
It’s not possible. The man I know, and grew to love… No.
— Former Trinity student Kimberly Graves,
to a Jacksonville news channel
No coincidence: Gray “retired” as pastor — and took off on a “mission” to Germany — after the church was forced to address Gray’s crimes in 1992. Not that Messer necessarily threw Gray out of the U.S. (although we suspect that’s exactly what happened); Germany may well have been “an exit strategy in the back of Bob Gray’s mind for some time.”
Ultimately: After First Coast News’ investigation blew the lid off decades of secrecy, Gray was arrested, charged with three counts of “capital sexual battery,” pleaded not guilty at his arraignment, and, after surrending his passport, was released on a measly $25,000 bond.
As of this writing in June, 2006, he’s still awaiting trial. In the meantime, more charges have been added to the original three counts.
How Gray could be charged at all, after so many years had passed, was explained to a Jacksonville news channel by Libby Senterfitt of the State Attorney’s Office: “These charges are based on acts that happened a number of years ago, but a capital sexual battery has no statute of limitations. Such a charge can be brought anytime.”
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As for Messer, Trinity Baptist Church issued this statement on May 22, 2006: “Today, Attorneys Richard Smith and Ed Trent met with the lead prosecutor at the State Attorneys’ Office regarding this matter. They have been assured that neither the church nor Pastor Messer is a subject of any criminal investigation. The church has pledged its full cooperation with the state’s investigation into this matter. The church’s independent investigation is ongoing.”
Well, we’ll see if Messer gets off scot-free, or not.
Memorable observations of the “queer-hating” Brother Gray, from various comments at The Texas Baptist Underground:
The only thing I remember from a Gray sermon was that he “hated” queers. I wonder if that means he never witnessed to them. Anyways, it is sad that the only thing that sticks in your mind about someone’s preaching is something like that.
I only heard Bob Gray (FL) preach once, while I was a student in college about 14-15 years ago, in my college’s chapel. In that message, Gray … came out firing first by lambasting homosexuals, using some very colorful language that made a lot of us college students blush. That was the only thing I remembered about Bob Gray of Trinity Baptist Church of Jacksonville, FL. After reading James Spurgeon’s book, my personal reflection of either Bob Gray is that they both were cut of the same kind of cloth: loathsome, venomous, IFBx preachers who harbored some psychological (and very real spiritual) problems.
Fun fact #1: Gray once served on the board of the Sword of the Lord (say that three times fast!), a hysterical fundamentalist rag (which is so radical, many “mainstream” Southern Baptists call it “vile” and “lunatic”) that regularly warns of the dangers of homosexuality (that’s their favorite subject, the “homosexual agenda”) by positing bizarre theories…
Many universities now have coed dorms, with men and women living on the same floor. But some have taken the next step: coed dorm rooms. Not that these colleges are encouraging their students to have sex with each other. Quite the contrary. Having a man and a woman share the same sleeping quarters is just another way to make homosexuals feel more comfortable…
…takes perverse glee in liberal-bashing disguised as righteousness…
Did you notice how scarce the liberals were right after September 11, 2001? For several weeks they weren’t on the talk shows! The reason was simple: In a time of national crisis, nobody cared what they thought, and there was no demand for their rhetorical gibberish!
…and plasters every other page with ads for things only of interest to other holy-rollin’ “soul winners” who want their very own megachurches. (”EXPAND YOUR MINISTRY!
Fun fact #2: As Marty Braemer predicted, just about everyone associated with Gray would “remove Bob Gray’s picture from our websites, remove his name from our missionary lists, reprint conference flyers that once featured his name as a guest speaker, and gather up all of his preaching tapes. Neither his name nor anything about him will ever be mentioned from the pulpit in any conference where he once spoke. It will almost be as if he never existed.”
If you want to find evidence of Gray’s pre-arrest existence on the Web, you’ll have to hit The Wayback Machine, or catch unaltered Web pages cached by Google. The Trinity Baptist Church Web site underwent a sudden, complete re-design (home page before; home page after), and numerous other sites praising the pedophile preacher have all but scrubbed Gray out of existence.
Louisiana Baptist University — which called Gray “one of the most loved and respected Baptist Leaders in America” — quickly removed the pedophile preacher from its “Featured Alumni” page (here’s the page before, and here it is after).
The Trinity Baptist College Web site still mentions Gray on its history page (guess there’s no getting around the fact that Gray co-founded the college!), but, curiously, almost tries to tell you something happened in 1992, without really saying it: “The progress of the entire College ministry was temporarily delayed when its founder, Dr. Bob Gray, retired. The church took prayerful, deliberate steps in securing new leadership. In 1992, Dr. Thomas Messer was chosen as the Pastor of the church and later as President of the College.”
Very un-fun fact: The earliest accusation of abuse against Gray goes all the way back to 1949; his victim, who is now 67, told Jacksonville’s Channel 4 that “Gray preyed on her when he was a young assistant pastor at a church in Hampton, Fla.” She said he tried to grab her breast — and that she was all of nine years old at the time.
What this whole ugly story and the indefensible coverup reminds us of: Doc the tale of John Story, the ultra-conservative, pillar-of-the-community Wyoming doctor who raped dozens (perhaps hundreds) of women and young girls during needless “pelvic exams,” for more than a quarter-century. Story (who, coincidentally, was also a Baptist) got away with it for so long because the Mormon women he “treated” were just as submissive and in denial (and naïve) as the cult of personality following Bob Gray.
What’s really sad: The John Story saga began in 1958. Half a century later, nothing has changed, and fear is the tool fundamentalist churches use to keep people — especially women — submissive and silent.
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Gray:
A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
— 1 Timothy 2
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Messer:
Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;
— 1 Timothy 8
