J.C. Watts, Jr. (R-Okla.)

 

Claims to fame: Pro-”family values,” anti-gay Republican Token Negro, trotted out for photo ops to illustrate “tolerance” & “diversity” of GOP; illegitimate father

Fact #1: He’s an ordained Baptist minister.

Fact #2: He consistently earned a 100% approval rating from the Christian Coalition throughout his career.

Punch line: He fathered at least one out-of-wedlock child.

Memorable quote:

“Character is simply doing right when no one is looking.”

Memorable observation:

“A black man voting Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.”

— J.C. Watts, Sr., to his son

Where he is now: Disappeared for a while, then starting popping up on CNN as some sort of poltical “expert.”

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Watts:

And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau.

— Genesis 27:32

Bonus Bible reading for Mr. Watts:

Also thou shalt not oppress a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger, seeing ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

— Exodus 23:9