Ken Calvert (R-Calif.)

Claims to fame: Christian Coalition insider; co-sponsor of proposed constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriages

Moral apex: Caught in parked car with prostitute in 1993.

Twinkie defense: Blamed hooker head job on “depression.”

Fun fact: He’s divorced — and welched on his alimony payments, too. Ex-wife sued.

Memorable quote:

We can’t forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky.

Suggested Bible reading for Mr. Calvert:

The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.

— Hosea 1:2