John McCain (R-Ariz.)
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Claims to fame: U.S. Senator; repeat presidential candidate; Vietnam War veteran & P.O.W.; opportunist; suck-up; hypocrite; borderline racist; flip-flopper; Religious Right lapdog
Moral apex: Distanced himself from the Radical Religious Right during 2000 run for presidency; in 2006, did a one-eighty and embraced Jerry Falwell in futile attempt to suck up to American fundamentalist-extremist voters.
Oh, yeah, and: Admitted to adultery during first marriage. Which means he’s divorced, too.
Oh, and: We feel really bad about those five years he spent as a P.O.W., but if you’re going to be a politician (or a Christian), you can’t go throwing around racial slurs. Period.
Memorable quote:
“I hated the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.”
Suggested Bible reading for Mr. McCain:
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
— Ephesians 4:31-32
